Our definition of success changes over time. For example, an infant grasping a toy, a child learning to ride a bike, or a teenage making the basketball team. But somewhere along the line, we start defining success by what other people, outside us, are doing. Keeping up with the Jones’s!

 Why?

I think there are three main reasons:

• We tend to think someone outside us that has a result we want KNOWS more than we do, so we seek their help. When, in reality, we KNOW what we need to do, we just don’t do it!
• The fear of criticism- what will other people say? What does that matter?
• Fear of Failure- what if I’m wrong? Do you think the baby reaching for a toy or the child learning to ride a bike ever make a mistake? Of course- mistakes are part of the process!

What would your life be like if you could reach the end of the day and say, without a doubt, I reached my definition of success today?

What about your people: your kids, significant other, boss, team members,...

I’ve coached hundreds of leaders over the last five years and one thing they all have in common is that their problem is usually related to fear. One of these:

• Criticism- the fear of what ‘they’ will say
• Failure- what if I do it ‘wrong’?
• Success- what if I do it ‘right’- how will my life change?
• Loss- of freedom, control, my job, etc.

Every time, we delve deeper, we find there is a story attached to that fear. Either something they’ve experienced in the past or something they’ve made up in their mind. The story runs the show.

Not logic.

Not reason.

Not systems or processes.

Their STORY!

So, what’s the fix? We try to get their conscious brain (the awake, aware, alert part) to focus on a new positive image of what they want to happen while allowing their subconscious brain (the auto-pilot) to get you to your goal. Change the story, change the result!

Try it! If you’d like help, just let me know!

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