I heard this question from my teenager the other day about the household chores and it reminded me of the coaching client I had last month and the leader I talked to a few weeks ago- they all asked the same question. In a nutshell, the answer is yes and no!

"At the root of every success is some form of well-directed energy." James Allen

James Allen said success requires well-directed energy. The energy part requires a bit of work. The well-directed part requires thought. When you combine thought (systems, processes, WHY) and energy, it doesn’t take as much work.

I’ve seen leaders trying to do everything because they never stopped to think first. Or they’ve convinced themselves delegation is a dirty word. So the job is ten times harder than it needs to be.

I’ve also watched as leaders put a great deal of thought into the plan before the work and it seems to fly by as if by magic. They seem to not need energy or effort to make any of it happen.

I guess the real...

Our definition of success changes over time. For example, an infant grasping a toy, a child learning to ride a bike, or a teenage making the basketball team. But somewhere along the line, we start defining success by what other people, outside us, are doing. Keeping up with the Jones’s!

 Why?

I think there are three main reasons:

• We tend to think someone outside us that has a result we want KNOWS more than we do, so we seek their help. When, in reality, we KNOW what we need to do, we just don’t do it!
• The fear of criticism- what will other people say? What does that matter?
• Fear of Failure- what if I’m wrong? Do you think the baby reaching for a toy or the child learning to ride a bike ever make a mistake? Of course- mistakes are part of the process!

What would your life be like if you could reach the end of the day and say, without a doubt, I reached my definition of success today?

What about your people: your kids, significant other, boss, team members,...

Creatives live longer. Michaelangelo was still working at 80, Gothe wrote FAUST at 80, Edison invented things into his 90’s, and Picasso was painting well after the age of 85.

Then why, when I talk to leaders, they are ‘done’ and stressed and overwhelmed at younger and younger ages? Why do some leaders believe the ‘job’ has to be stressful?

Sure, systems, processes, and building a team really helps but the belief is the real problem.

Are you excited about your work and your team? Do you believe your job has to be difficult? What would it be like if it didn’t have to be hard?

Creative people believe in play, having fun, and exploring. They tend to live longer and enjoy life better because of their belief that life doesn’t have to be difficult.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to just live longer, I want every day to be better than the last.

Take an honest assessment of your beliefs. Where do you stand? Are you an old...

I’ve coached hundreds of leaders over the last five years and one thing they all have in common is that their problem is usually related to fear. One of these:

• Criticism- the fear of what ‘they’ will say
• Failure- what if I do it ‘wrong’?
• Success- what if I do it ‘right’- how will my life change?
• Loss- of freedom, control, my job, etc.

Every time, we delve deeper, we find there is a story attached to that fear. Either something they’ve experienced in the past or something they’ve made up in their mind. The story runs the show.

Not logic.

Not reason.

Not systems or processes.

Their STORY!

So, what’s the fix? We try to get their conscious brain (the awake, aware, alert part) to focus on a new positive image of what they want to happen while allowing their subconscious brain (the auto-pilot) to get you to your goal. Change the story, change the result!

Try it! If you’d like help, just let me know!

[email protected]

"Every human being is hypnotized by ideas he has uncritically accepted from others or ideas he has repeated to himself or convinced himself are true." Maltz

“EVERY” means me. You, Your team. Your family members, Every.

I’ve had many conversations with leaders this week about their frustrations with the people they are leading. It all boils down to this quote. We are all hypnotized, meaning we don’t know what we don’t know. And your people are no different!

What do you do if someone you’re influencing isn’t aware of something- they’ve been hypnotized by past or present beliefs?

• Check yourself and see if there’s something you may no be aware of first,
• Recognize that if it’s an awareness issue, you probably won’t be able to change their mind,
• Save your breath! Nobody likes free advice, especially an unaware person, and
• Limit your exposure to their negative attitude as much as possible.

Look, I know this is difficult- I...

"You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successfully." Alex Morrison (expert golf teacher)

Morrison, widely known as the most successful golf teacher during his time developed a system of using the imagination to get what you say you want out of your golf game.

Rather than focus on skill development, which I’m sure he did at some point, he explained that the best use of the golfer’s time was to develop a clear mental picture of the correct thing FIRST. When you think about how the club feels in your hands after an amazing swing, where the ball goes on the green, and how you feel after an amazing time on the course, you download a program into your mind about how to be successful.

If you focus your thinking on HOW to swing, HOW to get the ball down the lane, and HOW to finish under par, you won’t be as successful.

So, how does this apply to leadership?

You spend your time wither thinking about what you don’t want or what...

"It is characteristic of all learning that as learning takes place, correction becomes more and more refined." Maltz

When a baby toddles, they fall frequently. When a 5-year old rides a bike without training wheels, they fall often. When a 16-year-old drives a car, they make mistakes!

As a mother of an almost 16-year-old and having spent a great deal of the last year praying fervently and teaching him how to drive, under great stress I might add, I understand this learning principle even more now! As he practices, he seems to ‘grope better’ through his driving. (He’s actually really great at parking!) Much like the toddler who has to learn coordination, balance, and grace as they practice, Josiah is learning the same things as he drives.

AND… we learn the SAME way in our leadership roles! After working with thousands of leaders, many of them new, I can tell you that most of them have the understanding like I did when I started my first position, that you...

Humans are a fickle bunch when it comes to time. We tend to mourn for the past and worry about the future, never really living in the present moment. A writer had this to say: "Creative living means responding and reacting to environment spontaneously." (i.e. living in the moment!)

When we fret or worry about what’s going to happen we send stress hormones throughout the body which keeps us from being creative or able to solve problems well. AND, it keeps us from attending whatever is in front of us, exacerbating the problem.

What can we do?

I have three tricks I use to get people’s bodies and brains in the same place when I speak or train. I’ll share them with you if you promise to only use your superpowers for good!

• Take a few short, deep breaths: this relaxes the nervous system and just feels good!
• Think about and write down something you’re grateful for: this floods your relaxed nervous system with good hormones, making you feel good and aligning your...

President Harry Truman was asked once how he handled the high-stress environment he was in. His answer: “I have a foxhole in my mind.”

I think about that quote often. As leaders, we can struggle with stress, demands, commands, complaints, and so much more that calls our attention away from the current task at hand. Successful leaders know when to separate those demands, which ones to address right now (very few) and which ones to put aside until later.

How can you designate a foxhole, a safe place, in your mind to limit your stress and response? I can’t answer that for you but let me give you an example I use. I love small thinking oases throughout the day. I schedule in random times throughout my day and put an alarm on my watch. When it goes off, I take 90 seconds to close my eyes and think about the ocean and the waves. It’s just enough to remind me that life is not all about the current problem I’m trying to solve.

What about you? What could you do...

"I always think about what I am going to do, and what I want to happen instead of what the batter is going to do, or what may happen to me." Hugh Casey [successful and calm relief pitcher]

As a leader, what do you focus on more, what you want to happen or what you don’t want to happen?

If you’re like many of my coaching clients you WANT to think about what you want, but…. Something keeps you focused on what you don’t want: people not meeting your metrics, programs failing, screwing up that staff meeting, not getting deadlines met, etc.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Where your focus goes, your energy flows.”

My driver’s education instructor told me (way back when!), “Where you look is where your car will go, so make sure you look at where you want to go.”

What would happen if you chose to focus on where you want to go as a team and in your leadership rather than focusing on all the problems?

Challenge: set aside 10 minutes, every...