This post is a follow-up from yesterday as I had a few people reach out for clarification. These questions really centered around how you deal with anger with people outside the workplace, specifically people you know very well and even live with. Let me put it into MY personal perspective and tell you a story!

Recently, my husband and I had a bit of a problem. I won’t tell you exactly the problem but rest assured it was one of those marriage problems that ends up in loud talking and recognizing the same patterns over and over again. Let’s just say, I was very angry!

Now, in the past when this pattern happened, I would hold it in and not try to make a scene- let’s just keep everyone happy. Until…. I would BLOW UP! That didn’t work out too well for either of us or our kids.

“Working steam is not heard. It’s the escaping steam within which makes a great noise.” James Allen

So, I decided I didn’t want to do what I’ve always...

I chatted with a coaching client the other day and she was angry! She had a staff member that didn’t follow through on her promises and put their grant in jeopardy. This is a BIG deal with many people affected. As I listened to her tell me all about the facts of the situation, I was reminded of a quote I read recently by James Allen,

“Working steam is not heard. It’s the escaping steam within which makes a great noise.”

Working steam is contained, captured, and used to power something forward.

Escaping steam does damage! Much like the anger of a leader. So what can we do with that anger so we don’t hurt our people AND move things forward?

• First of all, acknowledge the anger! Many people try to deny that feeling and that’s how you can explode. One day the anger just boils to the surface and you hurt yourself and others. Acknowledge the validity of your feeling.
• You need to find a safety valve! Anyone who’s ever cooked with a pressure cooker...

“Every significant breakthrough is first a break with tradition, with old ways of thinking, wit old paradigms.” Thomas Kuhn

Copernicus discovered the center of the universe was the sun and not the earth. He suffered greatly for that shift in thinking! The scientist who discovered that ‘germs’ caused infection and killed mothers giving birth was put in an insane asylum by his colleagues. Einstein was ridiculed for birthing the field of science we now know as Quantum Physics, which is completely opposite of the Newtonian Physics and linear mathematics that was prevalent in his day.

Are YOU ready for a shift in your own thinking? Really ready? Ready to change you, the people you lead, and possibly the world?

What’s the value of one shift for you?

• Maybe you lead a multi-level marketing team and you’re stuck with your recruitment and engagement numbers; you can’t quite meet those monthly goals?
• Maybe you see the writing on the wall and you know...

“Leaders listen.” Simon Sinek

When I started as a school administrator, I hate to say it, but I rarely listened – truly listened- to anyone. I was so caught up in my own world of deadlines, metrics, and demands to notice someone else’s need. Over the years, with lots of training and experience, I’ve gradually learned how to connect with others more effectively. I also learned that when you connect will you get the results you’re looking for- almost as if it’s not any work at all!

I’ve learned a few tips about WHAT to listen to that I’d like to share with you:

• WORDS: listen to the kinds of words they use for clues about how they experience their world. For example, do they say, “I see now..” or “I noticed…”, if so, they may be a visual learner. If they say, “I was walking the other day and….” Or “I moved across the room…” they may be a kinesthetic learner. This...

“Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” John Maxwell

When I had my first leadership position, I definitely didn’t understand this principle! I thought it was my job to get results and if an employee was trying to talk to me about something that didn’t apply to what I was working on, I considered in an interruption.

The more I’ve worked with hundreds of new and inexperienced leaders, the more I understand that I wasn’t alone in this! And maybe that’s you, too. The reality is, if we put people first and increase our connecting abilities, we will get more of the results we are looking for!

How do we do this? Well, first of all, that question can’t be answered in totality with a blog post! I’ve created several courses and classes that speak to this topic. As a matter of fact, our Empowered Leaders Membership Group focuses on this principle every month in...

“Great teams have great depth.” John C. Maxwell

How’s your bench doing? If you’re developing a sports team, you know bench players are crucial to your success. The same is true for any team. There are 5 truths you need to know about bench players:

• They are tomorrow’s stars- if they’re trained well now, you have more success later
• They multiply the starter’s performance- use them as much as possible in practice situations and the team will win
• There are more people on the bench than there are starters/leaders- not all bench players will turn into starters; you need to know how to identify and develop the right bench players
• A well-placed bench player is more effective than a great starter- a bench player with only one or two great skills can add huge value to your team, especially in clutch situations
• A strong bench equals more options- you can develop plans with greater flexibility, especially in times of challenge or struggle

What’s...

“Great teams have great depth.” John C. Maxwell

Leaders tend to focus on their top performers, their starter players. And for good reason! It’s important to focus 80% of your time on the top 20% of performers to maximize your team’s results.

You see this often in larger companies and businesses. They conduct training on increasing performance and larger leadership ideas with their top people and their leadership team, while the bench players of the team get training on compliance issues.

But what if one of your top performers leaves the team? Do you have a plan to replace them?

If you don’t focus on your bench players and develop them, you could find yourself hurting.

Here are a few thoughts to consider…

• Who steps up in times of need and fills in during short term projects?
• Who stays after and goes over and above their job duties?
• Who seems the most curious about what happens in and with the team?
• Who volunteers to do extra work and/or learn...

"We don’t learn from our experience- we learn from reflecting on our experience." John Dewey

As a preschool teacher, I learned quickly that going on that field trip to the farm wasn’t the learning opportunity I thought it was. The trip was the experience, but not the learning. The real learning came when we got together as a group and discussed what we saw, heard, felt, smelt, and tasted. The debrief.

I took that new knowledge into my new role as a professional development trainer and speaker and learned how to do many kinds of debriefs. I realized the teaching/speaking part wasn’t as necessary as the debrief after!

"Reflective thinking turns experience into insight." John C. Maxwell

As I moved along in my career and became a coach/consultant for leaders, I had the pleasure and honor of attending and influencing many meetings, the good, the bad, and the ugly. One thing I learned was that not all meetings are created equal.

The teams who consistently used debriefs...

"Predictability, dependability, and consistency: these three qualities ensure that our leadership is reliable and motivates people to place their confidence in us. Our effectiveness as leaders is built on trust." Gayle Beebe

Consistency isn’t a fun thing to do or talk about- it isn’t sexy like transformation and leadership! However, when you truly understand the power behind consistency, especially compounding consistency, then you can begin to enact real change in the world.

• How are you consistent as an employee? Does your boss see you doing your tasks on a consistent basis? Can she/he count on your predictability? Or do you bring drama wherever you go?
• How consistent are you as an employer? Do your people see you as dependable? Do you do what you say you’re going to do? When do you not do what you promise and why?
• Are you consistent as a volunteer? Do your team leaders feel that you are steady and trusted or that you’re going to ‘flake out’ on...

I heard this statement from a new leader about five years ago. She jumped into one of our leadership groups and within three months, this is what I heard, “My people are the greatest!”

So what caused the change?

One thing: her thinking! And a little dash of leadership skill development didn’t hurt!

John Maxwell says, “For a leader that develops leaders there is something scarcer and much more important than ability. Is it the ability to recognize ability.” How do you do that?

The first step is in asking, “What do we need?” Too many leaders begin hiring someone for a position without stopping to ask this important question first. They hire based on the job description of the person who leaves and not on what the team really needs.

What’s your vision?

What’s your mission?

What homes in service or support might you be experiencing?

What resources are you lacking?

What future challenges are you trying to prepare your team for?

...