How Can I Transform Anger Into Something Good?

This post is a follow-up from yesterday as I had a few people reach out for clarification. These questions really centered around how you deal with anger with people outside the workplace, specifically people you know very well and even live with. Let me put it into MY personal perspective and tell you a story!

Recently, my husband and I had a bit of a problem. I won’t tell you exactly the problem but rest assured it was one of those marriage problems that ends up in loud talking and recognizing the same patterns over and over again. Let’s just say, I was very angry!

Now, in the past when this pattern happened, I would hold it in and not try to make a scene- let’s just keep everyone happy. Until…. I would BLOW UP! That didn’t work out too well for either of us or our kids.

“Working steam is not heard. It’s the escaping steam within which makes a great noise.” James Allen

So, I decided I didn’t want to do what I’ve always done and get the same result I’ve always gotten. I chose differently. This time I acknowledged my anger and took a break. I went for a walk and collected my thoughts. I reached out to a mentor and shared my story and asked for guidance (a safety valve for my anger).

THEN… I decided I wanted to transform my anger into something good. So I went back home and solved the initial problem and created some content for a personal development group I’m a member of and shared it with them. Instead of just being angry and complaining about my ‘jerky’ husband, I did something about it.

In any situation that invites you to feel angry, you have a choice:

• Hold It In
• Let It Out
• Make It Work For You

I’ve found that holding it in only brings it to a raging boil and an explosion, usually when it can do the most damage. Letting it out is great when it can be in a controlled and safe environment, rather than just letting it come out like a bomb. Making it work for you takes some getting used to and usually some thinking ahead BEFORE a situation happens, as well as a trusted mentor or coach to help.

You can’t control the situation, but you CAN control how you respond to it!

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