How To Be Like Mother Teresa (8/4)

Mother Teresa had no job title, no money, and was a part of a dying organization. Yet she had a huge influence and helped change the world!

Why? Well, I believe there are several myths about leadership and influence that keep people from having this same impact. Let me share with you four examples of common coaching clients I deal with when working on their leadership. Let’s see what clues we can gather.

Martha The Manager

Martha believes that, because she is a manager, promoted for her skills, she has automatic influence. Martha rests on this fact and takes her authoritative voice a bit too far sometimes and her people are beginning to not like her. She is excellent at getting stuff done, especially when using preset systems and processes. For these reasons, her bosses saw potential in her. However, because of her lack of ability to build relationships and connections, she lacks true, deep, and meaningful influence. Here people will listen...

This post is a follow-up from yesterday as I had a few people reach out for clarification. These questions really centered around how you deal with anger with people outside the workplace, specifically people you know very well and even live with. Let me put it into MY personal perspective and tell you a story!

Recently, my husband and I had a bit of a problem. I won’t tell you exactly the problem but rest assured it was one of those marriage problems that ends up in loud talking and recognizing the same patterns over and over again. Let’s just say, I was very angry!

Now, in the past when this pattern happened, I would hold it in and not try to make a scene- let’s just keep everyone happy. Until…. I would BLOW UP! That didn’t work out too well for either of us or our kids.

“Working steam is not heard. It’s the escaping steam within which makes a great noise.” James Allen

So, I decided I didn’t want to do what I’ve always...

“Leaders add value by serving others.” John C. Maxwell

In order to really add value to other people, though, you need to do three things.

• Value Yourself: know, like, and trust yourself first; whenever there’s an issue examine yourself first before you try to ‘fix’ another person
• Value People: to you value people in general? What’s the evidence that you do?
• Value ‘Them’: do things that serve the people in your immediate spheres- home, work, clubs, community, etc.

First-time leaders are generally all about getting results. I was no different! And many times I did things at the expense of my people. I didn’t value them as much as I could have. If I had it to do all over again, I would definitely do things differently!

• I would have more conversations with my staff about their strengths, passions, and goals in life and help empower them to be the best versions of themselves possible.
• I would ask more questions, listen more...

"Ample opportunity for small grievances will seek you out." Paul Martinelli

Life has problems. Period.

Small, medium, and large problems. Problems that last a while and some that go away quickly.

The people who accept that life is about solving problems and figure out how to help other people solve problems are usually successful in life.

But what do we do with all those little problems that pop up- the rude bank teller, the driver that cuts you off, the nasty comment on social media? We need to release those small grievances before they build up like toxins in our thinking system and keep us from being able to address and solve problems.

I have 2 tips for you today:

• You don’t know the whole story behind the bank teller, the driver, or the person on Facebook. Who knows what happened to them right before your interaction? Would you want someone to judge you for having a ‘moment’?
• Let it go quickly. Realize that holding onto that is not serving you well, no matter...

Depends on the mistake!

Is it a relationship mistake, such as not keeping a promise you made to an employee? Check, done that!

Is it a production mistake, such as failing to meet a deadline? Check, done that!

Is it an empowerment mistake, as in you came into the conversation a little too bossy, rather than helpful? Check, done that!

So, what do you do when you make one of these mistakes? There are 5 steps of moving forward:

• Acknowledge your mistake: don’t ignore it, acknowledging is half the battle!
• Take steps to fix it right away if you’ve hurt someone in a physical or emotional way
• Apologize for your mistake: be real and honest with yourself and others
• What’s the REAL problem? The mistake isn’t the real problem! Your thinking that leads TO the mistake is the problem! (do you need to change a system or process, do you need some self-care or personal development time, do you need to change your thinking, or build a skill set?)
• Forgive yourself! You are...