"Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, cannot be severed; for the effect already belongs in the cause, and the end pre-exists in the means, the fruit in the seed." Emerson

Cause and effect. Input, output. That’s how life works, right?

Sometimes it’s hard to admit that we might be the cause of the results we don’t want in our life. When things are going well, we tend to pat ourselves on the back. When they don’t go as planned, the human response is to blame other people or our circumstances.

How’s that working for you?

It hasn’t worked well for me in the past! People-pleasing behavior, ignoring difficult conversations, and blaming my circumstances and heredity for my current health hasn’t helped me.

I came to a point in my life where I had to stand up for myself and say, “Michelle, that’s enough! It’s time to take responsibility for your freedom.” That’s a hard thing to admit- that YOU are the cause...

Your people crave a dependable, non-emotional leader.

It’s sometimes difficult to regulate emotions and respond with choice, rather than react with reflex. Our body regulates our temperature and does not take on the climate of the environment around it. If it’s 110 degrees or 25 degrees outside, for the most part, our body temperature stays at 98.6.

How can we regulate our emotional thermostat to remain that steady?

• RELAX: take regular times of relaxation. Maybe a 5-minute meditation break or a 20-minute walk at lunch; something to give your nervous system a break.
• PLAY WITH PERCEPTION: realize that 5 people could participate in the same experience and have a wildly different perspective about what happened. Rarely will you ever find someone who fully agrees with your perception and vice versa? Let this be okay!
• LIMIT DRAMA IN YOUR OWN HEAD: don’t let your thoughts wander away from you into a negative story. If you make a mistake, spend that time thinking about...

If you’re like most people, you tend to have a hate/hate relationship with your mistakes, flaws, and screw-ups. You might even blame, shame, or judge yourself by them. The problem is that we get stuck when we do this. And our people do, too!

When we show our flaws and admit our mistakes, it takes the sting out of that self-judgment.

It also gives permission to your team that mistakes are okay and even welcome. Do we give others permission, by our example, to show their flaws, or do we model hiding them?

What would your workplace look like if your people could admit when they failed and find the help they need to move forward?

What would happen to your metrics if people didn’t hide their mistakes?

How could your team grow together if they knew it was safe to say, “I’m sorry”?

If you, like me, can imagine many of your workplace dramas disappearing and a kind of utopia setting in, you might be right! Your people take their cues from you. Be the change you...