Two of my mentors talk a great deal about who you attract in life, especially when you lead.

“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, you see in yourself." Zig Ziglar

“Who you are is who you attract; that’s the law of magnetism.” John Maxwell

That got me thinking… as I’m working with leaders, many of their complaints focus on the ‘soft skills’, communication, work ethic, etc. Common complaints include:

• “They just don’t listen to me.”
• “They always do their own thing and not what the team needs.”
• “They just don’t seem to ‘get it’.”
• “They always procrastinate and show up late.”

When I hear these statements, I know it’s time to start digging! Subtle modeling is caught, not taught. Meaning, people will do what they see, not what you tell them to do. Is there some small part of these statements that you are modeling for them?

Now, before you tell me all the ways you are NOT doing that, just sit with ...

"Give up grudges as you would a gangrenous arm!" Maltz

Leaders need to learn how to deal with emotional injuries, not just have a ‘thick skin’. Ignoring injuries causes great damage. Just as an internal bodily infection can kill you if left untreated, internal emotional damage can kill your ability to lead and impact others.

These ideas have helped me the most:

• People are doing the best they can with what they know and have
• They cannot export what they don’t know (choice is a function of awareness)
• They are unaware of the effects their words and deeds have on others, especially me

John Maxwell, my friend, mentor, and business partner often teaches that the whole world, with one tiny exception, is made up of other people, so don’t put so much emphasis on that one tiny exception- you! Your people don’t necessarily know how to serve others. Be their model.

Grudges injure you and your ability to influence (i.e. lead).

If I had more time, I’ve shared with you some brain science ...