"Healthy images don't bruise easily. If you're hurt, check your self-image."

As a leader myself, I’ve struggled with hurt feelings and haters, even people on my team. It’s a natural part of leadership. Not everyone will like you or the decisions you make. So, you need to decide how you’re going to deal with that rather than pretend it doesn’t happen or hope it won’t happen to you.

Many young leaders I talk to jump into their position for some piece of glory, adoration, or perk.

Then they find themselves in a mess. But don’t’ lose hope!

WHEN we’re hurt, it tells us there’s something inside us, our thinking, that we can work on. I have three ‘magic’ questions I ask myself and my coaching clients:

• WHY does this bother me?
• WHAT does this say about me?
• What do I WANT to do wit this?

Whether you have a client/customer yell at you, an employee argue with you, or a friend betray you and talk bad about you, if you use these 3 questions to get to know YOU in the process, you’ll be be...

"Give up grudges as you would a gangrenous arm!" Maltz

Leaders need to learn how to deal with emotional injuries, not just have a ‘thick skin’. Ignoring injuries causes great damage. Just as an internal bodily infection can kill you if left untreated, internal emotional damage can kill your ability to lead and impact others.

These ideas have helped me the most:

• People are doing the best they can with what they know and have
• They cannot export what they don’t know (choice is a function of awareness)
• They are unaware of the effects their words and deeds have on others, especially me

John Maxwell, my friend, mentor, and business partner often teaches that the whole world, with one tiny exception, is made up of other people, so don’t put so much emphasis on that one tiny exception- you! Your people don’t necessarily know how to serve others. Be their model.

Grudges injure you and your ability to influence (i.e. lead).

If I had more time, I’ve shared with you some brain science ...