“Leaders listen.” Simon Sinek

When I started as a school administrator, I hate to say it, but I rarely listened – truly listened- to anyone. I was so caught up in my own world of deadlines, metrics, and demands to notice someone else’s need. Over the years, with lots of training and experience, I’ve gradually learned how to connect with others more effectively. I also learned that when you connect will you get the results you’re looking for- almost as if it’s not any work at all!

I’ve learned a few tips about WHAT to listen to that I’d like to share with you:

• WORDS: listen to the kinds of words they use for clues about how they experience their world. For example, do they say, “I see now..” or “I noticed…”, if so, they may be a visual learner. If they say, “I was walking the other day and….” Or “I moved across the room…” they may be a kinesthetic learner. This...

“Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” John Maxwell

When I had my first leadership position, I definitely didn’t understand this principle! I thought it was my job to get results and if an employee was trying to talk to me about something that didn’t apply to what I was working on, I considered in an interruption.

The more I’ve worked with hundreds of new and inexperienced leaders, the more I understand that I wasn’t alone in this! And maybe that’s you, too. The reality is, if we put people first and increase our connecting abilities, we will get more of the results we are looking for!

How do we do this? Well, first of all, that question can’t be answered in totality with a blog post! I’ve created several courses and classes that speak to this topic. As a matter of fact, our Empowered Leaders Membership Group focuses on this principle every month in...

"If every time a child comes up with an opinion he is squelched and put in his place, he learns that it is 'right' for him to be a nobody, and 'wrong' to be a somebody." Maltz

Many parents, teachers, and coaches understand this idea and try to encourage children whenever they can. Great leaders also use this principle with adults.

What if you replaced the word ‘child’ in this quote with the spouse? Co-worker? Team member? Employee?

This week I talked to several coaching clients and they all referenced really bad meetings. One of them told a story about the leader who discounted everyone’s idea at the table because it wasn’t his. Have you ever experienced that? Or perhaps you’re having a conversation with someone on social media or a friend over coffee. It doesn’t feel good to have your idea invalidated, does it?

How you handle someone else’s opinion or idea goes a long way toward successful leadership and it is imperative to get the results...

"Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictitus

How can one person put up with an extreme amount of pressure from their circumstances and conditions and perform rather well at work and another person breaks down under the smallest amount of pressure?

Obviously, it’s not the circumstances they are in that make the difference. What is it?!?

Their attitude and opinion about what’s happening!

Do you ever take time to listen to your people about their thoughts, feelings, values, opinions, or beliefs surrounding the work you do? Do you know what they’re thinking and feeling in relation to the pandemic and all it’s tangential struggles? If you didn’t answer a wholehearted YES to those two questions, it might be time to backtrack a bit.

Successful leaders take time to listen, understand, and empathize IN ORDER TO move the person and the work forward. If you don’t listen, understand and...