Sometimes we just have bad days! What do YOU do when you have a bad day? Maybe a self-care routine: bath, wine, workout, chat with a friend….

Most people who practice good self-care know that taking care of their body and reducing the stress on their nervous system allows them some relief. But if you’re only caring for your body and not your mind and soul, you might be leaking energy and power.

"No one can hurt me by myself, for no one else can make me forsake the good and embrace the bad." Marcus Aurelius

I LOVE this quote! It reminds me that I have the power to make a bad day into a good day. It’s all about perspective. Here are a few examples:

• When you are evacuated from your home due to a 500-year flood and 3 dams breaking- that’s a bad day! AND it’s an opportunity to see what your three kids might deem as ‘important’ in their life when they are limited to 2 bags of stuff each.
• When you lose a loved one- that’s a bad day. When...

"Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, cannot be severed; for the effect already belongs in the cause, and the end pre-exists in the means, the fruit in the seed." Emerson

Cause and effect. Input, output. That’s how life works, right?

Sometimes it’s hard to admit that we might be the cause of the results we don’t want in our life. When things are going well, we tend to pat ourselves on the back. When they don’t go as planned, the human response is to blame other people or our circumstances.

How’s that working for you?

It hasn’t worked well for me in the past! People-pleasing behavior, ignoring difficult conversations, and blaming my circumstances and heredity for my current health hasn’t helped me.

I came to a point in my life where I had to stand up for myself and say, “Michelle, that’s enough! It’s time to take responsibility for your freedom.” That’s a hard thing to admit- that YOU are the cause...

What you sow, you will reap. You don’t plant a corn seed and get spinach! The same is true for leadership.

What you plant inside your people will grow into maturity.

I coached a young and inexperienced leader several years ago; she was younger than everyone on her team. She believed that no one would listen to her because of her age and lack of experience. That belief drove her behavior. She showed up to meetings and didn’t talk. She let people make their own schedules even though it didn’t benefit the team. She never said anything about the problem behaviors she saw.

I think you can imagine the results!

She slowly realized the seeds she planted in her team by looking at those results (i.e. her crop). She had to take a long look at herself, her beliefs, how she wanted to show up. As we worked with her, she began planting better seeds (words of encouragement, facilitating discussions, approaching problems).

The more she sowed good seed, the better crop she got, and...

Two of my mentors talk a great deal about who you attract in life, especially when you lead.

“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, you see in yourself." Zig Ziglar

“Who you are is who you attract; that’s the law of magnetism.” John Maxwell

That got me thinking… as I’m working with leaders, many of their complaints focus on the ‘soft skills’, communication, work ethic, etc. Common complaints include:

• “They just don’t listen to me.”
• “They always do their own thing and not what the team needs.”
• “They just don’t seem to ‘get it’.”
• “They always procrastinate and show up late.”

When I hear these statements, I know it’s time to start digging! Subtle modeling is caught, not taught. Meaning, people will do what they see, not what you tell them to do. Is there some small part of these...

"Ample opportunity for small grievances will seek you out." Paul Martinelli

Life has problems. Period.

Small, medium, and large problems. Problems that last a while and some that go away quickly.

The people who accept that life is about solving problems and figure out how to help other people solve problems are usually successful in life.

But what do we do with all those little problems that pop up- the rude bank teller, the driver that cuts you off, the nasty comment on social media? We need to release those small grievances before they build up like toxins in our thinking system and keep us from being able to address and solve problems.

I have 2 tips for you today:

• You don’t know the whole story behind the bank teller, the driver, or the person on Facebook. Who knows what happened to them right before your interaction? Would you want someone to judge you for having a ‘moment’?
• Let it go quickly. Realize that holding onto that is not serving you well, no matter...

It’s easy to see how leaders might want to fix their people, especially to get them to produce more. However, it’s counterintuitive. The sub-conscious message you send when you do these behaviors is that your people need to be fixed.

Emerson said, “Where your focus goes, your energy flows.” That means what you focus on you get. If you focus on your people’s problems, issues, challenges, or shortcomings- you get more of them!

So what’s a leader to do?

Neville Goddard said, “The man who imagines others at their best and exercises forgiveness performs a miracle.”

• Flex your imagination muscle and try to see them as performing at the highest level
• What is ‘their best’? What does that look like?
• Forgiveness is a superpower and when you allow your people to be who they are and imagine them at their best, they will rise to your expectation.

At the very least, when you picture your people at their best, your attitude change. They...

"We hypnotize ourselves into believing we can't do a thing."

I tend to work with a lot of coaching clients in transition from one job or career move to another. They come to me with many beliefs about what they can and can’t do. Typically, they start with all the beliefs about why they can’t have what they want.

I know, from the coaches perspective, that they have hypnotized themselves into thinking they are limited and can’t do something, that’s why they need my help.

In reality, my job is to help them see their value, their power, and their choice. In short, to be responsible for their freedom.

So, what do we do? We work on beliefs, play with thoughts, and get to know their own thinking patterns and habits.

We focus on larger issues such as perspective, the forgiveness of self, others, and processes, and ditching the DRAMA in their life. We also touch on the 7 laws of creation applied to their thinking: where have they violated them and where can they use...

"When you accept an idea into your life, it becomes a part of your identity. Be careful what you accept!"

Leaders, Teachers, Parents…

Your people, students, and children are largely run by their sub-conscious auto-pilot beliefs and NOT their conscious rationale thinking; specifically their self-belief. How do I know this? Let me give you a few examples…

• The young teacher who struggles to connect with parents because she is younger than they are and has a self-belief that you should let your ‘elders’ run the show
• The young reader or mathematician that was told they couldn’t perform by peers, parents, or other teachers because of a few mistakes or a delay
• The young child who struggles with self-identity because she’s not as good at art as her older sister

They are not running the show with their conscious (awake, aware, alert, rational) brain. Their self-image tells them what to do.

So how can we help?

• Recognize this is happening; awareness...

"Our imagination is responsible for our misery."

Over the years, I’ve become a passionate student of the mind, brain, and thinking.

One thing I’ve learned and put into practice for myself and my coaching clients is how we use our imagination, specifically the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. The stories we hold determine our results!

The story you tell yourself about whether you are capable and ready for that new job determines whether you get the job.

The story you tell yourself about whether you are good at math, or techy, or a great housecleaner, determine your life.

The story a leader tells themselves about being lonely in their position or having other people around to help is a blessing, largely determines not only their behavior but their team’s effectiveness.

The only difference between the result you want and the one you have is the story you tell yourself.

Become acquainted with your stories! Get to know your inner mind more than reading books...

"Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or be." Dr. E. Fosdik

The same holds true for teams!

I’ve had the honor and privilege of working with dozens of teams over the years, in strategic planning, meeting design, as thinking partners, and for goal setting. The one thing I find most helpful, not just in the meetings, but towards overall effectiveness, is to get the team to visualize their goals together.

We use a five-step approach:

• Write out the problem- all the details and emotions that go along with it
• Write out past successes- what helped you: tools, resources, thinking patterns
• How can you apply what you found in step 2 to the current problem?
• Spend time picturing what life looks like when you complete your goal
• Make your plan for NEXT steps and measurements of success

While this might be different than some of the other change processes that most of my clients have done in the past, it works! It works every...