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What Do YOU Do With A Bad Day?

Sometimes we just have bad days! What do YOU do when you have a bad day? Maybe a self-care routine: bath, wine, workout, chat with a friend….

Most people who practice good self-care know that taking care of their body and reducing the stress on their nervous system allows them some relief. But if you’re only caring for your body and not your mind and soul, you might be leaking energy and power.

"No one can hurt me by myself, for no one else can make me forsake the good and embrace the bad." Marcus Aurelius

I LOVE this quote! It reminds me that I have the power to make a bad day into a good day. It’s all about perspective. Here are a few examples:

  • When you are evacuated from your home due to a 500-year flood and 3 dams breaking- that’s a bad day! AND it’s an opportunity to see what your three kids might deem as ‘important’ in their life when they are limited to 2 bags of stuff each.
  • When you lose a loved one- that’s a bad day. When...
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YOU Are The Cause Of All Your Results

"Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, cannot be severed; for the effect already belongs in the cause, and the end pre-exists in the means, the fruit in the seed." Emerson

Cause and effect. Input, output. That’s how life works, right?

Sometimes it’s hard to admit that we might be the cause of the results we don’t want in our life. When things are going well, we tend to pat ourselves on the back. When they don’t go as planned, the human response is to blame other people or our circumstances.

How’s that working for you?

It hasn’t worked well for me in the past! People-pleasing behavior, ignoring difficult conversations, and blaming my circumstances and heredity for my current health hasn’t helped me.

I came to a point in my life where I had to stand up for myself and say, “Michelle, that’s enough! It’s time to take responsibility for your freedom.” That’s a hard thing to admit- that YOU are the cause...

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“Why Won’t They Follow Me?”

The law of buy-in says that people buy into the leader first and THEN the vision. John C. Maxwell

Every message people receive is filtered through the messenger. This means a leader needs to focus more on who they are and who they are becoming (their character) than creating the vision.

I’ve talked to many educational leaders in the last few weeks about what to do for Fall 2020. They wonder about making hard decisions and how to create a plan, and how to communicate when you don’t have a decision yet. I’ve noticed 4 types of leaders. I’ll list them and try to identify which one you are:

  • The silent leader with no plan. This leader doesn’t communicate at all because there is nothing to communicate. This is dangerous because your people will start looking for another place to be!
  • The loud leader with no plan. This leader talks a lot but has nothing of significance to say. Their people will probably stay for the long haul but eventually, they will demand a...
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What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

John Maxwell teaches leaders that their leadership ability does not equal their actual effectiveness. Einstein said the thinking that got you this far won’t get you to the next level. So, how does apply to our leadership?

Many new leaders come into a position and think they were hired because they know something. When, in reality, they KNEW or DID something in the past (i.e. what’s on their resume) and are expected to know and do something NEW in the future.

Past performance does not guarantee success!

As a leadership coach, I’ve seen all kinds of leaders. The leader that comes in hot and heavy and demanding, who might suffer from insecurities and doubts but shields that from anyone watching. And the humble leader who knows they know nothing and wants to do their best. Here are a few tips:

  • You knew something to get you here and you need to know even more to keep getting results, so adopt a learner’s attitude
  • Start looking at others as experts and ask them...
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How Is Your Leadership Garden Growing?

What you sow, you will reap. You don’t plant a corn seed and get spinach! The same is true for leadership.

What you plant inside your people will grow into maturity.

I coached a young and inexperienced leader several years ago; she was younger than everyone on her team. She believed that no one would listen to her because of her age and lack of experience. That belief drove her behavior. She showed up to meetings and didn’t talk. She let people make their own schedules even though it didn’t benefit the team. She never said anything about the problem behaviors she saw.

I think you can imagine the results!

She slowly realized the seeds she planted in her team by looking at those results (i.e. her crop). She had to take a long look at herself, her beliefs, how she wanted to show up. As we worked with her, she began planting better seeds (words of encouragement, facilitating discussions, approaching problems).

The more she sowed good seed, the better crop she got, and...

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Who Are You Attracting?

Two of my mentors talk a great deal about who you attract in life, especially when you lead.

“Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, you see in yourself." Zig Ziglar

“Who you are is who you attract; that’s the law of magnetism.” John Maxwell

That got me thinking… as I’m working with leaders, many of their complaints focus on the ‘soft skills’, communication, work ethic, etc. Common complaints include:

  • “They just don’t listen to me.”
  • “They always do their own thing and not what the team needs.”
  • “They just don’t seem to ‘get it’.”
  • “They always procrastinate and show up late.”

When I hear these statements, I know it’s time to start digging! Subtle modeling is caught, not taught. Meaning, people will do what they see, not what you tell them to do. Is there some small part of these...

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Forgive The Small Stuff

"Ample opportunity for small grievances will seek you out." Paul Martinelli

Life has problems. Period.

Small, medium, and large problems. Problems that last a while and some that go away quickly.

The people who accept that life is about solving problems and figure out how to help other people solve problems are usually successful in life.

But what do we do with all those little problems that pop up- the rude bank teller, the driver that cuts you off, the nasty comment on social media? We need to release those small grievances before they build up like toxins in our thinking system and keep us from being able to address and solve problems.

I have 2 tips for you today:

  • You don’t know the whole story behind the bank teller, the driver, or the person on Facebook. Who knows what happened to them right before your interaction? Would you want someone to judge you for having a ‘moment’?
  • Let it go quickly. Realize that holding onto that is not serving you well, no matter...
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Is Your Team Stuck?

"The present and future depend on learning new habits and new ways of looking at old problems." J. A. Schindler

Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that got you there.”

Unfortunately, science proves that somewhere between 90 and 95% of our daily behavior comes from our auto-pilot, our subconscious brain, not our rational thinking brain. This shows up when you tie your shoes, change the toilet paper roll, drive to work, etc.

This happens with teams, too. Over time you develop patterns of thinking, politics, habits that run your work. Shared thinking where ideas are plentiful can turn into group thinking where everyone thinks the same. This keeps a team STUCK!

Until you begin thinking in new ways, you’ll always get the same results. Sometimes, bringing in an outside perspective can help the most. On our LIVE Teaching Call, we’ll focus on 10 principles of thinking that can help you as an individual and your team move forward....

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Leaders Don’t FIX People

It’s easy to see how leaders might want to fix their people, especially to get them to produce more. However, it’s counterintuitive. The sub-conscious message you send when you do these behaviors is that your people need to be fixed.

Emerson said, “Where your focus goes, your energy flows.” That means what you focus on you get. If you focus on your people’s problems, issues, challenges, or shortcomings- you get more of them!

So what’s a leader to do?

Neville Goddard said, “The man who imagines others at their best and exercises forgiveness performs a miracle.”

  • Flex your imagination muscle and try to see them as performing at the highest level
  • What is ‘their best’? What does that look like?
  • Forgiveness is a superpower and when you allow your people to be who they are and imagine them at their best, they will rise to your expectation.

At the very least, when you picture your people at their best, your attitude change. They...

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Hypnotize Yourself & Realize Your Dreams

"We hypnotize ourselves into believing we can't do a thing."

I tend to work with a lot of coaching clients in transition from one job or career move to another. They come to me with many beliefs about what they can and can’t do. Typically, they start with all the beliefs about why they can’t have what they want.

I know, from the coaches perspective, that they have hypnotized themselves into thinking they are limited and can’t do something, that’s why they need my help.

In reality, my job is to help them see their value, their power, and their choice. In short, to be responsible for their freedom.

So, what do we do? We work on beliefs, play with thoughts, and get to know their own thinking patterns and habits.

We focus on larger issues such as perspective, the forgiveness of self, others, and processes, and ditching the DRAMA in their life. We also touch on the 7 laws of creation applied to their thinking: where have they violated them and where can they use...

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