"Give up grudges as you would a gangrenous arm!" Maltz

Leaders need to learn how to deal with emotional injuries, not just have a ‘thick skin’. Ignoring injuries causes great damage. Just as an internal bodily infection can kill you if left untreated, internal emotional damage can kill your ability to lead and impact others.

These ideas have helped me the most:

• People are doing the best they can with what they know and have
• They cannot export what they don’t know (choice is a function of awareness)
• They are unaware of the effects their words and deeds have on others, especially me

John Maxwell, my friend, mentor, and business partner often teaches that the whole world, with one tiny exception, is made up of other people, so don’t put so much emphasis on that one tiny exception- you! Your people don’t necessarily know how to serve others. Be their model.

Grudges injure you and your ability to influence (i.e. lead).

If I had more time, I’ve shared...

Depends on the mistake!

Is it a relationship mistake, such as not keeping a promise you made to an employee? Check, done that!

Is it a production mistake, such as failing to meet a deadline? Check, done that!

Is it an empowerment mistake, as in you came into the conversation a little too bossy, rather than helpful? Check, done that!

So, what do you do when you make one of these mistakes? There are 5 steps of moving forward:

• Acknowledge your mistake: don’t ignore it, acknowledging is half the battle!
• Take steps to fix it right away if you’ve hurt someone in a physical or emotional way
• Apologize for your mistake: be real and honest with yourself and others
• What’s the REAL problem? The mistake isn’t the real problem! Your thinking that leads TO the mistake is the problem! (do you need to change a system or process, do you need some self-care or personal development time, do you need to change your thinking, or build a skill set?)
• Forgive yourself! You are...

If you’re like most people, you tend to have a hate/hate relationship with your mistakes, flaws, and screw-ups. You might even blame, shame, or judge yourself by them. The problem is that we get stuck when we do this. And our people do, too!

When we show our flaws and admit our mistakes, it takes the sting out of that self-judgment.

It also gives permission to your team that mistakes are okay and even welcome. Do we give others permission, by our example, to show their flaws, or do we model hiding them?

What would your workplace look like if your people could admit when they failed and find the help they need to move forward?

What would happen to your metrics if people didn’t hide their mistakes?

How could your team grow together if they knew it was safe to say, “I’m sorry”?

If you, like me, can imagine many of your workplace dramas disappearing and a kind of utopia setting in, you might be right! Your people take their cues from you. Be the change you...

"The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions." Robert Louis Stevenson

I’ve talked with dozens of leaders throughout this pandemic and there seem to be three types. Which one are you?

• Stressed: the overwhelmed and overworked, the leader who doesn’t know what to do and struggles making decisions
• Blessed: the leader who says everything is just fine, yet their actions aren’t aligned with that belief
• Resourced: the leader who has a right assessment of what’s happening, makes quick decisions, and does the best they can to serve their people

Which one are you? Which one would you like to be? What’s the difference between these leaders?

Only one difference: their attitude!

We can choose our attitude at any time. If we choose to be happy, regardless of our circumstances, we give of a different ‘vibe’ that our people feel and follow.

Happiness is a present tense word. Don’t wait...

"Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen." Epictitus

How can one person put up with an extreme amount of pressure from their circumstances and conditions and perform rather well at work and another person breaks down under the smallest amount of pressure?

Obviously, it’s not the circumstances they are in that make the difference. What is it?!?

Their attitude and opinion about what’s happening!

Do you ever take time to listen to your people about their thoughts, feelings, values, opinions, or beliefs surrounding the work you do? Do you know what they’re thinking and feeling in relation to the pandemic and all it’s tangential struggles? If you didn’t answer a wholehearted YES to those two questions, it might be time to backtrack a bit.

Successful leaders take time to listen, understand, and empathize IN ORDER TO move the person and the work forward. If you don’t listen, understand and...

I’ve talked to a lot of worried leaders this week! One thing they all have in common: the re-decision/worry cycle. You make a decision and then worry about how it will turn out, thereby infecting all those around you with negative energy. And then you wonder why it doesn’t go well. Clearly, you just didn’t worry enough!

OR…

“When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome.” William James

Release yourself from ‘making’ something happen. Decide and let your people and systems do their thing. You worrying one iota won’t make something happen!

“Do your worrying after you place your bet, not after the wheel starts turning.” Maxwell Maltz

Know when to be concerned- before the decision- and when to let the plan play out. Do this and your people will thank you!

"Your present inadequate feeling and doing is automatic and spontaneous, because of the memories, real and imagined, you have built into your automatic mechanism. You will find it will work just as automatically upon positive thoughts and experiences as upon negative ones." Dr. Maxwell Maltz

I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders in my career and one thing many of them have in common is a feeling of insecurity, especially when they receive a new role. This insecurity leads them to 3 big issues:

• Feeling overwhelmed when solving problems,
• Indecisive when working on future vision/goals/dreams, and
• Procrastination when getting the work done.

As we work together, we find the beliefs, values, and feelings that drive their behavior. Every single time it’s some belief that was built in them from early life OR some type of imagination (i.e. worrying) that they’ve spent a significant amount of time on.

The good news is that you can spend the same amount of time thinking...

"You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successfully." Alex Morrison (expert golf teacher)

Morrison, widely known as the most successful golf teacher during his time developed a system of using the imagination to get what you say you want out of your golf game.

Rather than focus on skill development, which I’m sure he did at some point, he explained that the best use of the golfer’s time was to develop a clear mental picture of the correct thing FIRST. When you think about how the club feels in your hands after an amazing swing, where the ball goes on the green, and how you feel after an amazing time on the course, you download a program into your mind about how to be successful.

If you focus your thinking on HOW to swing, HOW to get the ball down the lane, and HOW to finish under par, you won’t be as successful.

So, how does this apply to leadership?

You spend your time wither thinking about what you don’t want or what...

"It is characteristic of all learning that as learning takes place, correction becomes more and more refined." Maltz

When a baby toddles, they fall frequently. When a 5-year old rides a bike without training wheels, they fall often. When a 16-year-old drives a car, they make mistakes!

As a mother of an almost 16-year-old and having spent a great deal of the last year praying fervently and teaching him how to drive, under great stress I might add, I understand this learning principle even more now! As he practices, he seems to ‘grope better’ through his driving. (He’s actually really great at parking!) Much like the toddler who has to learn coordination, balance, and grace as they practice, Josiah is learning the same things as he drives.

AND… we learn the SAME way in our leadership roles! After working with thousands of leaders, many of them new, I can tell you that most of them have the understanding like I did when I started my first position, that you...

“Any situation or circumstance is a chance to teach others what YOU are and what THEY are to you.” Anonymous

If you run a weekly staff meeting and it always starts 5 minutes late, what are you communicating? You may be communicating that you are disorganized and your people’s time isn’t valuable.

If you ‘stand on principles’ during the customer service process and don’t serve well, what do you communicate? You may be communicating that the most important person in this is YOU and the customer isn’t important- nor their business.

If you struggle to make decisions for and with your people in a challenging situation, what are you communicating? You may be communicating your insecurities and that they need to lead themselves.

See, EVERY situation is an opportunity to show people who you are as a leader AND to help them see what you believe about them. How well are you communicating what you really desire? Are you in alignment and...